mo kowareteta no mono wa, modoranai yo.
Sunday, July 17, 2011 
2:48 AM ♥
hello (: posting for today again ^^. today played div 2 floorball league game first match,
i was teamed together with qianni, amanda, diana, cheryl&emira~
today's game i didn't do that well, because i was super nervous and all.
ok, got which game i not nervous at all one? none. LOL.
but today i really veryvery happy :D first period i was so scared that i would make stupid mistakes
and get scolded ._. then i got very nervous. second period, i somewhat did better abit i think...
then third period, totally so into the game :P like very the... excited?
i feel somewhat better playing with qianni and cheryl too. i won't be that blur as to don't know what to do.
i do make some blur mistakes though, but they're there to correct me and i can actually learn from them.
somewhat because i'm not good and blur for most of the times so i can't keep up with them somehow,
and i'm not used to playing left side yet. but then i feel motivated by qianni when she cheering other
players up and motivating them LOL. then i feel less nervous and just played my part and try to do whatever i can and try no to make mistakes. the score was 13-2 won against np panthera, was really happy and glad to be in division two, starting i was very hesitant, whether anyone would hate me, would scold me and hate me for making mistakes cause i always, somewhat drag people down.. cause i'm somewhat a very inconsistent person :/ i don't know why i can't maintain myself at the standard where i can play best.
and sometimes i played my worse game and dragged everyone down because of that.
anyways, i'm feeling happy, really very glad that i'm in division 2, that they didn't scold me but helped me
and corrected my mistakes.. anyways, the mainpoint is, i can try to build up my confidence, and can build more from now on, if this continues :D after the merahan knightingales game, went to seven eleven with wenting and aishah to eat~ actually wanted to eat at the food court, but it's already closed. so we went to seven eleven instead, ate my spicy mushroom instant noodle and had my apple tea ^^
then went back to the rp indoor sports hall to cheer the merahan sparrows on, their match result was: 4-1, won. then after sparrow's match, aliah who lent my stick returned it to me, and then we walked back from rp to woodlands mrt station, on the way, i was so damn hyper, i spoke malay, i jumped, i throw paper on aliah, i failed, i went to get paper, i lost my balance, i slipped at the grass and almost did a split. wtf funny!
then i went on crazy for awhile more, then i cool down already, then i go singsingsing LOL.
went over to chenhui's house from woodlands. then slacked at her house for awhile.
soon enough, hoying came and we went down to accompany her to cut hair, something expected came up.
the salon closed at 6, and we went there at 7. yeah, the shop was closed, hoying decided that she diedie want to cut hair today, and she wants a trustworthy one, she keeps asking me and chenhui where to cut,
we went with her to tiong bahru, she this one cannot, that one cannot. honestly i don't know what to do.
i know that she wants to have a nice haircut. i understand, but i only know that salon which is closed, and asked her to cut tmr, i can't do anything about it since it's already closed right? so in the end, she had no choice but to agree with me. we went back to chenhui's house to watch gantz after buying some long john and mac. then while we watching, me and chenhui was joking with her, to her, making fun of her, by saying something. cause from time to time we disturb each other too right? maybe we went overboard this time, sorry about that. i stopped awhile after she said don't say anymore. later when chenhui's grandma came home at around 10 plus, the exact time when we're about to go, i had to go into hiding at chenhui's storeroom this time, because the grandma would be unhappy to see my face there. so we're dragged behind. the part where i had to stay in the dark and stuffy storeroom were funny to chenhui and hoying.
hoying like, keep xialan me ma, then like, i abit angry lol. then result as i got angry...
then i became like, throwing tantrums and attitudes at hoying in the lift. seriously, if i can;t afford to play it, i should not start the game right? then in the carpark all the way until i reach home, i was sulking.
yeah, i'm being such a bad person to hoying. and just now msn chat with her, we ended up quarreling again,
i tried to explain things to her but she doesn't get it in my point of view. then i ended up crying, while explaining to her, somehow, honestly, i feel very pressured and stressed out when she keep asking me
questions, and sometimes it's repeatedly same questions, or those questions that anyone will find it hard to answer when asked suddenly. but it's alright now, we've solved the problem already, maybe we should start to think of others in their shoes to avoid problems. tomorrow will be going out to watch hharry potter with chenhui, hoying and 2 other friend of hoying's. will be going to pool and bowling too, and also henderson wave (: hope we all have an enjoyable day tomorrow, and of course i will take tons of pictures tomorrow (: i see myself as a weak being.
Don't let people's compliments go to your head and don't let their criticism get to your heart.
Sometimes, time doesn't always heal a broken heart. It only allows us to deal with the pain.
-
That mood where you just feel upset for no reason and feel so fucking ugly, worthless and stupid and just feel like shit. -ForeverOnline
Every person I've ever trusted has fucked me over. Every single person.
I always try to find a way to blame myself when shit happens. I forgive too easily. I forget that people will just hurt me again and again.
All the suffering and all the pain. One day, it's all going to pay off.
-False apathyy
there are things in the world that would never be the same again even if you get a chance to get it back. there are things that you won't be able to fix. just like the words spoken out of one's mouth can never be taken back again.
i'm not a good friend. i don't have a good personality, i have a lousy character, i have bad anger management, but when i want to be understood, i'll do anything to explain myself fully to you.
-me
and that's all, byebye, update again tmr.
Labels: forgotten.
♡ 
♥mo kowareteta no mono wa, modoranai yo.
Sunday, July 17, 2011 2:48 AM ♥
hello (: posting for today again ^^. today played div 2 floorball league game first match,
i was teamed together with qianni, amanda, diana, cheryl&emira~
today's game i didn't do that well, because i was super nervous and all.
ok, got which game i not nervous at all one? none. LOL.
but today i really veryvery happy :D first period i was so scared that i would make stupid mistakes
and get scolded ._. then i got very nervous. second period, i somewhat did better abit i think...
then third period, totally so into the game :P like very the... excited?
i feel somewhat better playing with qianni and cheryl too. i won't be that blur as to don't know what to do.
i do make some blur mistakes though, but they're there to correct me and i can actually learn from them.
somewhat because i'm not good and blur for most of the times so i can't keep up with them somehow,
and i'm not used to playing left side yet. but then i feel motivated by qianni when she cheering other
players up and motivating them LOL. then i feel less nervous and just played my part and try to do whatever i can and try no to make mistakes. the score was 13-2 won against np panthera, was really happy and glad to be in division two, starting i was very hesitant, whether anyone would hate me, would scold me and hate me for making mistakes cause i always, somewhat drag people down.. cause i'm somewhat a very inconsistent person :/ i don't know why i can't maintain myself at the standard where i can play best.
and sometimes i played my worse game and dragged everyone down because of that.
anyways, i'm feeling happy, really very glad that i'm in division 2, that they didn't scold me but helped me
and corrected my mistakes.. anyways, the mainpoint is, i can try to build up my confidence, and can build more from now on, if this continues :D after the merahan knightingales game, went to seven eleven with wenting and aishah to eat~ actually wanted to eat at the food court, but it's already closed. so we went to seven eleven instead, ate my spicy mushroom instant noodle and had my apple tea ^^
then went back to the rp indoor sports hall to cheer the merahan sparrows on, their match result was: 4-1, won. then after sparrow's match, aliah who lent my stick returned it to me, and then we walked back from rp to woodlands mrt station, on the way, i was so damn hyper, i spoke malay, i jumped, i throw paper on aliah, i failed, i went to get paper, i lost my balance, i slipped at the grass and almost did a split. wtf funny!
then i went on crazy for awhile more, then i cool down already, then i go singsingsing LOL.
went over to chenhui's house from woodlands. then slacked at her house for awhile.
soon enough, hoying came and we went down to accompany her to cut hair, something expected came up.
the salon closed at 6, and we went there at 7. yeah, the shop was closed, hoying decided that she diedie want to cut hair today, and she wants a trustworthy one, she keeps asking me and chenhui where to cut,
we went with her to tiong bahru, she this one cannot, that one cannot. honestly i don't know what to do.
i know that she wants to have a nice haircut. i understand, but i only know that salon which is closed, and asked her to cut tmr, i can't do anything about it since it's already closed right? so in the end, she had no choice but to agree with me. we went back to chenhui's house to watch gantz after buying some long john and mac. then while we watching, me and chenhui was joking with her, to her, making fun of her, by saying something. cause from time to time we disturb each other too right? maybe we went overboard this time, sorry about that. i stopped awhile after she said don't say anymore. later when chenhui's grandma came home at around 10 plus, the exact time when we're about to go, i had to go into hiding at chenhui's storeroom this time, because the grandma would be unhappy to see my face there. so we're dragged behind. the part where i had to stay in the dark and stuffy storeroom were funny to chenhui and hoying.
hoying like, keep xialan me ma, then like, i abit angry lol. then result as i got angry...
then i became like, throwing tantrums and attitudes at hoying in the lift. seriously, if i can;t afford to play it, i should not start the game right? then in the carpark all the way until i reach home, i was sulking.
yeah, i'm being such a bad person to hoying. and just now msn chat with her, we ended up quarreling again,
i tried to explain things to her but she doesn't get it in my point of view. then i ended up crying, while explaining to her, somehow, honestly, i feel very pressured and stressed out when she keep asking me
questions, and sometimes it's repeatedly same questions, or those questions that anyone will find it hard to answer when asked suddenly. but it's alright now, we've solved the problem already, maybe we should start to think of others in their shoes to avoid problems. tomorrow will be going out to watch hharry potter with chenhui, hoying and 2 other friend of hoying's. will be going to pool and bowling too, and also henderson wave (: hope we all have an enjoyable day tomorrow, and of course i will take tons of pictures tomorrow (: i see myself as a weak being.
Don't let people's compliments go to your head and don't let their criticism get to your heart.
Sometimes, time doesn't always heal a broken heart. It only allows us to deal with the pain.
-
That mood where you just feel upset for no reason and feel so fucking ugly, worthless and stupid and just feel like shit. -ForeverOnline
Every person I've ever trusted has fucked me over. Every single person.
I always try to find a way to blame myself when shit happens. I forgive too easily. I forget that people will just hurt me again and again.
All the suffering and all the pain. One day, it's all going to pay off.
-False apathyy
there are things in the world that would never be the same again even if you get a chance to get it back. there are things that you won't be able to fix. just like the words spoken out of one's mouth can never be taken back again.
i'm not a good friend. i don't have a good personality, i have a lousy character, i have bad anger management, but when i want to be understood, i'll do anything to explain myself fully to you.
-me
and that's all, byebye, update again tmr.
Labels: forgotten.
♡
Name: thwishing-stars.bs 
November 2010
